If you boil broccoli, you’ll find that a lot of the colour and flavour ends up getting poured away when you drain the pan. This method uses no water at all, and results in a deep green colour with a delicious roasted taste. Try it – you’ll never boil broccoli again.
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Smoked salmon and smoked mackerel pizza
I wouldn’t have thought of putting precious smoked salmon on a pizza, and I’d certainly never have paired it with something as powerfully flavoured as smoked mackerel. However, I had this combination last summer at a cider bar called The Stable in Weymouth, and it was so good that as soon as I’d finished I immediately ordered another one. Not many foods inspire such greed in me – just as well, as I’d be 20-stone bloater if I ate like that every day.
Without a proper pizza oven it’s not possible to make such a light and crispy base as they had at The Stable, but this is as close as I could get with slightly more modest kitchen equipment (a breadmaker, a normal oven and a 30cm cast iron crêpe pan).
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Pickled jalapeños
I’m quite picky about pickled jalapeños. Having tried probably every type that’s readily available in this country, I’ve come to the conclusion that the only one worth bothering with is a Californian brand called Mezzetta. There’s something wrong with every other kind – some taste of iodine, some are too squidgy and have little flavour, some are too sweet, too salty, too vinegary… Mezzetta is just about perfect.
A couple of years ago, Mezzetta products disappeared from the shelves. Apparently some kind of problem with the labelling meant they couldn’t be sold in Europe, and although I emailed them to suggest that maybe they could ship me a few cases directly, it was impossible. Luckily the bureaucratic nonsense has all been sorted out now, but they’re still not exactly easy to find (Waitrose stocks them, hardly anywhere else does).
So here’s a recipe for the next best thing – assuming you can get fresh jalapeños, of course, which could be even trickier than tracking down a jar of Mezzetta. I found these ones in Sainsburys, of all places.
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Enfrijoladas
Refried beans thinned out with stock and spiced up with garlic and smoky chipotle peppers make a sauce for corn tortillas in this excellent Mexican breakfast / dinner / anytime dish. In this version (there are many variations) it’s similar to enchiladas but without any kind of substantial filling for the tortillas. Instead they’re dredged through the bean mixture and folded up, so that when you cut through it you get layers of soft, juicy tortilla, kind of like a savoury stack of Mexican pancakes. This may well be my new favourite thing to do with refried beans.
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Queso dip
The idea for this came from a little Tex-Mex trailer in Bristol called The Woolly Cactus. It serves lunch to office workers on Victoria Street, and claims to be the only place in the UK that does this delicious dip. I find that a little hard to believe – you can get something quite similar from Doritos, so it’s not exactly an alien concept here in Britain – but it’s very good, and here’s how you can whip up a reasonably close approximation at home.
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Brussels sprouts and chestnut mash
Brussels sprouts are invariably associated with Christmas dinners and a pervasive sulphurous odour that lingers around the house – initially from the traditional brutal boiling that renders them soft enough to eat without chewing; hours later, from the pumptastic effect they have on the digestive system. Few vegetables can be as noxious as an overcooked sprout.
They don’t have to be that way. Cooking sprouts more considerately makes them a more pleasant proposition all round, and mixing them with chestnuts makes them taste superb. So if you’re not looking forward to slurping your way through a mound of pale, soggy sprouts this year – and then, for the rest of the day, having to inhale the ‘aftersprout’ as it percolates through the bowels of your nearest and dearest – perhaps you should supply this recipe to your tribe’s chief sprout-boiler.
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Pickled shallots with chilli
A seasonal treat for fans of spicy, tangy, crunchy pickles. You could use small pickling onions for this recipe, although shallots have a better flavour and look nicer in the jar. Peeling them is an awful chore but it’s worth the effort, as you can’t buy anything remotely as good as this in a supermarket.
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Five spice peanuts
I got the idea for this from the Wheatsheaf in Combe Hay, which is one of the last remaining country pubs within walking distance of my house. It probably isn’t in any danger of closing, as it’s the only pub I’ve ever been to where customers arrive via helicopter and brag shamelessly about what a down-to-earth chap Eric is (“Clapton, yah, lovely fellow”). The food is tremendously posh, the beer surprisingly cheap, and although it’s packed with restaurant tables inside, you can sit outside and enjoy the view from their lovely garden while getting buffeted by some rich bugger’s chopper.
A couple of weeks ago they had a bowl of peanuts like these on the bar and I was most impressed.
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Giant couscous tabbouleh
I decided to make this tabbouleh with giant couscous, which doesn’t really bear much resemblance to normal couscous. The grains are like little pearls, retaining some bite after cooking, and they’re prepared via braising rather than just pouring boiling water over the top, so they have a lovely toasted flavour. For a more correct tabbouleh, use just bulgur wheat (which is also included here for bulk, as it’s much cheaper and easier to find than giant couscous).
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Spicy pickled eggs in cider vinegar
Pickled eggs are a British institution. You’ll find them behind the bar of every decent pub, but how many people do you know who actually buy them? I imagine those catering-size jars must sit around for decades, their rusty lids prised off once in a blue moon as the landlord’s gnarled yellow fingers fish out an ancient rubbery orb for the amusement of drunkards on a dare.
I used to be a little bit afraid of them. The name alone is a deeply unappetising, and in the gloom of their natural habitat they bring to mind the formaldehyde-floating horrors of the biology lab.
Such thoughts, however, are entirely unwarranted. Served in the traditional manner – shaken vigorously inside a bag of cheese and onion crisps – pickled eggs are the perfect accompaniment to a pint. British tapas. Here’s how you can make some that will surpass even the finest vintage specimens from your local hostelry.
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